Spoiler Alert: The Lingerie Isn’t What Makes the Photo

Here is a very common scenario for me as your photographer. A woman calls to inquire about her session finally, perhaps she is finally mustered up the courage or the time to reach out. I go through all the details about her session and retainer and how it covers not only an in person pre session consultation, professional hair and makeup, posing guidance, 3 hours of camera time, and access to my client wardrobe room period I then hear a huge sigh of relief and they often say quote ohh thank goodness! I have absolutely no idea what I would wear!”

That's what I want them and you to understand. We have been sort of conditioned to believe that an amazing boudoir session hinges directly on having the perfect lingerie. That having red bottom shoes and dazzling Lacey pieces will somehow make their images spectacular.

Their fears are valid. We are bombarded daily with ads from lingerie companies seeming to imply that without those pieces, we simply will not look amazing.

Lingerie is a piece of the puzzle, but only a small piece. It is perhaps, the least important part of the overall equation. The lace, frills, gowns, and crowns are nothing compared to the energy you bring. _________________________________________________________

Perfect Lingerie simply doesn’t exist

What looks amazing on Sarah may not be Ashley’s style and vice-versa. The most important lesson here is that, even though you may think you need several pieces of lingerie, you don’t.

Full Stop.

I’ve photographed well over 100 women, some with the most exotic, most expensive lingerie I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Some with pieces they’ve ordered from Shein, Fenty, and others, and some show up with nothing. Those are the ones that utilize a satin sheet, a prop, or nothing at all. These are the ones that allow lighting and their bare skin to tell the story.

The smoldering look of confidence with just a loose sheet are some of my favorite images ever. This is what makes an image powerful, not the bodysuit.

Temperature safe candles provide the perfect wax drips on bare skin

Energy Over Stilettos

When women walk into their session, they are walking into a space they have energetically claimed for themselves. A space where they are allowed to put themselves first, a space where they are allowed to play, be sensual, and be vulnerable.

There just happens to be a camera there to capture all of this.

In claiming this space, I make sure these women understand that posing isn’t a natural talent, that I will guide them into the spaces where they can truly shine. I give them a peep at the back of the camera, and that little 2 inch square ignites a ferocity. I can see the shift in them. That shift- has zero to do with any piece of wardrobe. It’s them, authentically them.

As such, I encourage my clients to bring a willingness to explore and play rather than perfectly curated wardrobe. No matter the size, the pose, the outfit- this willingness to put themselves out there and channel a perhaps forgotten version of themselves it what makes the images absolutely sizzle.

It’s a Give & Take Situation

My clients not only give, but they take.

What could they possibly take, you ask?

·      Connection They are more connected with themselves and their bodies. For many, this can be a very new feeling.

·      Confidence Being comfortable in our own skin is an often overlooked gift. Allowing ourselves to be seen, fully seen, brings about a level of confidence many have never experienced.

·      Power They did something they were scared to do, but they showed up and they nailed it. That’s a defining moment they will carry with them for life.

See, boudoir sessions aren’t just about the coolest razzle dazzle bra and panty sets, they are about all the new ways you get to know and love yourself. The images are a tangible bonus!

So then, how DO I plan for my boudoir session?

Here’s my advice about what’s REALLY important in your planning:

·      Connect with your photographer. Even if it isn’t me, you should have had a couple of conversations with your photographer. After all, you’ll be getting undressed with this person. You should be able to have easy conversation with them and a full sense that he/she has your back. You should have the sense that your photographer will have your best interests at heart, that you’re not merely another person on their schedule. This level of comfort goes a long way towards having an ultimate experience.

·      Lay it out. Truly- lay out all the clothing and wardrobe options you are considering. Try them on and be open to how each piece is making you feel. For some, that’s a tank top and a lacy panty, for others, it may be a silky robe or their partner’s button down shirt.

·      Allow for options. My rule of thumb is to bring at least 5 outfit changes. It’s always better to have more than not enough. And consider this, some of your favorite images may have no clothing at all. Maybe you want some fully nude options, or with just a satin sheet, or want a shower set, or the fire and ice set where I combine temperature safe wax poured in all the right places then switch it up with acrylic ice cubes and water.

·      Recognize perfection is highly overrated. You are enough, just as you are. You are wonderfully made and I will highlight all of your favorite parts.

In Conclusion

Your session is cultivated to meet your specific desires. It’s unique, just like you. No two of my sessions are alike.

Whether you are celebrating an upcoming wedding, a divorce finalization, a birthday or anniversary, a health goal, or just because you’ve put yourself last for too damn long, THIS is your chance to reclaim all that is inherently yours. Your edginess, your softness, your power, your acceptance and willingness to love yourself.

All that being said, yes, we absolutely discuss wardrobe. And yes, you get exclusive access to my client wardrobe room. And yes, I will help you find the pieces that photograph the best. But you- showing up, that’s the real deal.

YOU are the main character of this story we write.

The clothing, the props, even me- well, we are all just supporting actors for you.

No wardrobe necessary. Satin sheets look amazing!